Nice doggie!

I like cats.

I like that cats live to a set of rules that have nothing to do with human beans. Cats eat when and what they want. They sleep a lot. They only use human beans when they are useful: my cat, for example, refuses to use the litter box provided if she thinks it's not clean enough for her. That keeps me on my toes: I change the litter box every 3 or 4 days, as the cat requests. Cats don't appear to worry about being part of the pack. The cat is a pack on its own.

I'm not mad about dogs. They seem to me to be too keen to be seen as subservient. They grovel a bit too much to humans. They seem to have a need to join a pack led by a human bean. I especially dislike wee dogs and very big dogs. Wee dogs - otherwise known by people like me as wee yappy dugs - seem to spend their lives trying to pick fights with other dogs. Big dogs - ridgebacks and Pyrenean or Italian mountain dogs, for example - don't bark but kind of hang about trying to be the humans' best friends. So undignified.

But there are two features of dogs I especially hate: the ones that jump up on me - and the lickers.

Cats do more or less what I want: they eat what I provide, they like treats, they sleep and they come  to be petted when they feel like it.

Doggies want to be friends. I've often met dogs that jump up on me, and sometimes nuzzle where no gentleman or lady should ever let their nose go. The very worst hump my leg. Okay, so your lovely dog has a favourite toy, nuzzles the toy a lot, and then brings it to visitors and drops it onto their lap. In my case, I know exactly where that toy has been and I don't want it anywhere near me. I'm certainly not going to pick up its soggy saliva-covered body and offer it back to the doggie.

But licking is the very worst. I know where that tongue has been: cleaning the doggie's arse, for a start. I don't let my cat lick me, so why should I allow an unknown dog to lick me?

And yet, it seems there's a hierarchy: it seems dogs are good. Excellent creatures. Worthy of respect. Well, mainly because a lot of doggies belong to men, who seem to be less fastidious when it comes to being licked or jumped up on.

So I'll just stick with my cat. She's not very demanding and I don't ask much of her. That suits us both fine.