Brexit B*st*rds

Many years ago, when I first got an email address, I always made sure when a company asked for my email I added a wee note: "This email address is for your company's use only. I do not authorise you to sell or give my address to any other company or agency."

That worked for a long time.

So did making sure I always clicked on the box that said: I do not wish to receive emails. And choosing to receive 'further information' by post, rather than text or email. Well, nobody wants the hassle of sending a letter, so I never heard from most companies again. I also liked the 'unsubscribe' option at the end of most emails. It's good to know I'm just a click away from anonymity.

Now I'm afraid my system has let me down.

Firstly, I've had 14 calls in the last fortnight from what my mobile calls 'Private Number.' I never knew there was such a thing as a private number on a mobile. I haven't answered any of these calls: if I'm not important enough to know who's calling, they're not important enough to get to talk to me.

I hate phones anyway. I was a slave to the phone for nearly 20 years when I was working: it was usually demented parents calling to tell me about a teacher smoking pot in their wean's school (aye, right - like teachers can afford a drug habit) or parents complaining their wean was being bullied. How come nobody ever phoned me and said: My child is a bully - I'm phoning to apologise? Nah, these phonecalls always meant I'd be tied up for the next 40 minutes trying to explain the difference between bullying and two weans falling out.

But back to email. Just before the EU elections, I got an email from - wait for it - UKIP. As we say on social media: WTAF? I mean, UKIP, the utter losers among the far right parties of Europe. UKIP, who, as far as I can see couldn't find their own arse with a map and a torch. So how did they find me?

Is this some comment on my political leanings? I know I gave up on the Labour Party after 25+ years
but I joined the Scottish Greens instead, and we are if anything rather more to the left than Labour these days. I'm a Europhile, which is more or less obligatory for a Scottish Green. I'm also committed to equality and fairness, environmentally as sound as I can be (although there's no way I'm joining the Vegan Front) and I am pro-independence.

So there's been some mistake here. The email in question had no unsubscribe option, so maybe I'll get to have a chat with one of their personnel. Although I suspect if there are any 'personnel' they've got other things to worry about right now. Like calling in the receivers...