Poor Boris*
*No, of course I don't mean that. Do I have to start writing "sarcasm alert" after every mention of the Tories? Just take it as read.
It all looked so easy. Boris and his pals Dominic Cummings and Steve Bannon, his link to Trump, had it all worked out: Boris would get their support - and the support of the UK newspapers - to become prime minister. It's all he has ever wanted. (He's a man of low ambition.) In return, using his fabled charm and his fawning contacts, not to mention the spin that claims he is still fun-loving, smart-mouthed Boris, he would sweep aside all the concerns of his party and the voters. The UK would fall at his feet and he would deliver deliver Brexit on 31 October. And from there to the UK's new status as an American state was but a hop and a jump.
Boris had a couple of stutters, when he tried to use his journalistic tricks to convince the voters.
There was the herring incident that turned out to be a lie.
Followed by the Melton Mowbray pie incident, also a lie.
But Boris ploughed on undaunted.
That was Monday. He had a couple of harmless photo-shoots - one of them with the newly re-homed puppy.
I wonder what Larry the cat makes of that - and which luckless No10 aide, complete with Oxbridge degree, is having to walk the mutt. I also wonder at what point we can send in The Cruelty, as they are called in Glasgow.
Then came Tuesday...
Not a good day for Boris. He came face to face with the reality of the Tory Party: they eat their young. Even their not so young. They had him for breakfast. He turned on Jeremy Corbyn and blamed him for everything - including, it seems, having the brass neck to lead the opposition. The House of Commons did its thing. Bercow seemed content to let them.
By the way, does Bercow really lock them in for a vote? Is that why he shouts 'Unlock' after every vote? Is there some way we can get him to keep them locked in there for good?
The result was a fail for Boris and great entertainment for the rest of us.
Boris's problem is that the media love him: newspapers treat him as 'one of our own'. A lot of the TV and radio people are from the same background as him (private education, Oxbridge followed by a lifetime of flying by the seat of their pants, rather than doing a day's work). I imagine with these people supporting you it's quite easy to expect everything to go your way. So any encounter with reality is going to be tough.
It seems Jonson finds it hard to manage on £140,000 a year. I have friends managing on less then
The problem is that people like Boris Johnson don't seem to meet up with reality often enough. They're never going to have to turn up for a PIP assessment. Or wait 6 weeks for a payment from Universal Credit. They don't work for people who despise them and would pay them below the minimum wage if they could get away with it. They don't pay out half their wages on rent or a mortgage. They'll never face the threat of being homeless. And they definitely don't have to use a credit card to pay the bills or borrow from the shysters on TV that will rob you blind so you can meet a financial crisis, like your car breaking down - you know, the car you need to get to work because there's no bus service any more.
Having, in a previous life, met a few Borises, I'm not sure they are capable of adapting, while the poor have had to learn how to. I remember a friend who worked in a rural council setting two multi-millionaires against each other at the local agricultural show, just by telling one that the other was selling off a bit of land. Months later, the two were still arguing about which of them had the larger estate. Her argument: It was just so easy...
So what's the future for Poor Boris*? Maybe he'll go the same way as Theresa May, now running Pippa Dee parties in Torremolinos, according to Janey Godley. That's an honest job, at least. Commission only, I imagine.
Maybe he'll find some way to bring the Tory Party into line. It's great to see the threats to sack (deselect) the lot of them coming from Downing Street, although a bit alarming that a prime minister has no idea of the power of the House of Commons. Maybe he - or Dom or Steve - doesn't know House of Commons procedures were set up with the very purpose of stopping rogue prime ministers doing just what Johnson is trying to do.
Myself, I don't care about Westminster. I want out. I want an independent Scotland. I just wish we weren't at the mercy of the fearties in the SNP to get us out.
It all looked so easy. Boris and his pals Dominic Cummings and Steve Bannon, his link to Trump, had it all worked out: Boris would get their support - and the support of the UK newspapers - to become prime minister. It's all he has ever wanted. (He's a man of low ambition.) In return, using his fabled charm and his fawning contacts, not to mention the spin that claims he is still fun-loving, smart-mouthed Boris, he would sweep aside all the concerns of his party and the voters. The UK would fall at his feet and he would deliver deliver Brexit on 31 October. And from there to the UK's new status as an American state was but a hop and a jump.
Boris had a couple of stutters, when he tried to use his journalistic tricks to convince the voters.
There was the herring incident that turned out to be a lie.
Followed by the Melton Mowbray pie incident, also a lie.
But Boris ploughed on undaunted.
That was Monday. He had a couple of harmless photo-shoots - one of them with the newly re-homed puppy.
I wonder what Larry the cat makes of that - and which luckless No10 aide, complete with Oxbridge degree, is having to walk the mutt. I also wonder at what point we can send in The Cruelty, as they are called in Glasgow.
Then came Tuesday...
Not a good day for Boris. He came face to face with the reality of the Tory Party: they eat their young. Even their not so young. They had him for breakfast. He turned on Jeremy Corbyn and blamed him for everything - including, it seems, having the brass neck to lead the opposition. The House of Commons did its thing. Bercow seemed content to let them.
By the way, does Bercow really lock them in for a vote? Is that why he shouts 'Unlock' after every vote? Is there some way we can get him to keep them locked in there for good?
The result was a fail for Boris and great entertainment for the rest of us.
Boris's problem is that the media love him: newspapers treat him as 'one of our own'. A lot of the TV and radio people are from the same background as him (private education, Oxbridge followed by a lifetime of flying by the seat of their pants, rather than doing a day's work). I imagine with these people supporting you it's quite easy to expect everything to go your way. So any encounter with reality is going to be tough.
It seems Jonson finds it hard to manage on £140,000 a year. I have friends managing on less then
£10,000 a year. What's the problem?
The problem is that people like Boris Johnson don't seem to meet up with reality often enough. They're never going to have to turn up for a PIP assessment. Or wait 6 weeks for a payment from Universal Credit. They don't work for people who despise them and would pay them below the minimum wage if they could get away with it. They don't pay out half their wages on rent or a mortgage. They'll never face the threat of being homeless. And they definitely don't have to use a credit card to pay the bills or borrow from the shysters on TV that will rob you blind so you can meet a financial crisis, like your car breaking down - you know, the car you need to get to work because there's no bus service any more.
Having, in a previous life, met a few Borises, I'm not sure they are capable of adapting, while the poor have had to learn how to. I remember a friend who worked in a rural council setting two multi-millionaires against each other at the local agricultural show, just by telling one that the other was selling off a bit of land. Months later, the two were still arguing about which of them had the larger estate. Her argument: It was just so easy...
So what's the future for Poor Boris*? Maybe he'll go the same way as Theresa May, now running Pippa Dee parties in Torremolinos, according to Janey Godley. That's an honest job, at least. Commission only, I imagine.
Maybe he'll find some way to bring the Tory Party into line. It's great to see the threats to sack (deselect) the lot of them coming from Downing Street, although a bit alarming that a prime minister has no idea of the power of the House of Commons. Maybe he - or Dom or Steve - doesn't know House of Commons procedures were set up with the very purpose of stopping rogue prime ministers doing just what Johnson is trying to do.
Myself, I don't care about Westminster. I want out. I want an independent Scotland. I just wish we weren't at the mercy of the fearties in the SNP to get us out.
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