My Depression Blog (1)
Okay, I've tried: for about an hour I've tried to use my sleeplessness well and set up a new blog about depression. But here I am back on the old blog, spitting tacks because blogger refuses to let me set up a new blog.
If you think this might not be your thing, feel free to move along and find more interesting topics: maybe pictures of cats, puns, sarcastic comments on Tories. Just make sure you share these with the rest of us on Facebook. I'll understand perfectly. The topic of depression is not for everyone. A long time ago, as part of my job, when I didn't have depression, I sat through a seminar on stress management and came out looking for a bus to throw myself under, so I know the topic of mental health is not for everyone. I'm just glad that - finally - we can talk about this subject without having mental health written off as the ravings of menopausal women or adolescent girls. I'm particularly pleased for the men around us: we've lost too many men because they felt they had to keep their fears and feelings bottled up.
Question: when did all this start for me - and why? No idea is the short answer.
The first years of my retirement were pretty terrific. I travelled a lot. Round the northern hemisphere for a start. I would have called travel my hobby. Up till about 18 months ago, I was still travelling. I was also socialising with family and friends, hosting family parties in our residents' lounge, shopping, enjoying movies and music.
And then quite suddenly I wasn't doing any of that. I was constantly tired. Didn't want to go out. Couldn't be bothered with music or the telly. Got take-out rather than cooking. Didn't sleep well (like now). Had no concentration. Didn't want to see people.
Someone told me I was an introvert reverting to type. But I'm not. I get my stimulus from other people and from the outside world - it's a family trait.
Within the past year I seem to have tipped over from 'feeling low' to feeling what I can only call 'flat.' I'm trying not to over-think this but I posted last week that the deaths in one year of 6 people who were important to me certainly had an effect.
It took me a while to summon up the courage to see my GP. If you've always been 'in charge' you'll know what's involved. I now have medication (just starting to kick in) and an appointment with the mental health Link Officer in the practice. My GP will also be keeping in touch with me by regular phone appointments.
It's not all bad news, of course. The cat loves me being at home. She definitely has issues of her own - separation anxiety for a start. If I go out, I can hear her mewing when I get out of the lift and put the key in the front door.
My niece keeps me advised on the stages of handling depression and I'm very grateful to her: every day I need to get up. The next stage will involve getting washed and dressed every day. Getting out comes after that. Then maybe seeing people...
But I know it's going to take a while. All I can say to anyone else feeling the way I have been feeling is: get help. I don't know how many people in the population have mental health issues, but I'll bet it's a lot.
If you think this might not be your thing, feel free to move along and find more interesting topics: maybe pictures of cats, puns, sarcastic comments on Tories. Just make sure you share these with the rest of us on Facebook. I'll understand perfectly. The topic of depression is not for everyone. A long time ago, as part of my job, when I didn't have depression, I sat through a seminar on stress management and came out looking for a bus to throw myself under, so I know the topic of mental health is not for everyone. I'm just glad that - finally - we can talk about this subject without having mental health written off as the ravings of menopausal women or adolescent girls. I'm particularly pleased for the men around us: we've lost too many men because they felt they had to keep their fears and feelings bottled up.
Question: when did all this start for me - and why? No idea is the short answer.
The first years of my retirement were pretty terrific. I travelled a lot. Round the northern hemisphere for a start. I would have called travel my hobby. Up till about 18 months ago, I was still travelling. I was also socialising with family and friends, hosting family parties in our residents' lounge, shopping, enjoying movies and music.
And then quite suddenly I wasn't doing any of that. I was constantly tired. Didn't want to go out. Couldn't be bothered with music or the telly. Got take-out rather than cooking. Didn't sleep well (like now). Had no concentration. Didn't want to see people.
Someone told me I was an introvert reverting to type. But I'm not. I get my stimulus from other people and from the outside world - it's a family trait.
Within the past year I seem to have tipped over from 'feeling low' to feeling what I can only call 'flat.' I'm trying not to over-think this but I posted last week that the deaths in one year of 6 people who were important to me certainly had an effect.
It took me a while to summon up the courage to see my GP. If you've always been 'in charge' you'll know what's involved. I now have medication (just starting to kick in) and an appointment with the mental health Link Officer in the practice. My GP will also be keeping in touch with me by regular phone appointments.
It's not all bad news, of course. The cat loves me being at home. She definitely has issues of her own - separation anxiety for a start. If I go out, I can hear her mewing when I get out of the lift and put the key in the front door.
My niece keeps me advised on the stages of handling depression and I'm very grateful to her: every day I need to get up. The next stage will involve getting washed and dressed every day. Getting out comes after that. Then maybe seeing people...
But I know it's going to take a while. All I can say to anyone else feeling the way I have been feeling is: get help. I don't know how many people in the population have mental health issues, but I'll bet it's a lot.
Jean, thank you for your comments. My son suffers from anxiety and depression.
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