Carry on moaning
I joined a Facebook group about - I thought - life in the 50s, 60s and 70s. There were a few funny reminiscences posted to start with but then it began to get very dark, very political and far from funny.
It looked like people were joining the group so they could write things like: 'My parents battered me when I was little, but it didn't do me any harm'. That'll be why we have our fair share of psychopaths and perverts in Britain then.
Or 'This isn't the country I grew up in'. Well, I can't say where you grew up but the Britain I grew up in wasn't that different from Britain today.
Some claim 'Britain isn't a safe place to live in.' And it gets nasty from now on: the bit of Britain I live in has seen a cut of 40% in violent crime in the past generation but it's obviously going to be different in other places. To my knowledge, Britain is not full of people wielding Kalashnikovs and shooting each other. It turned out the person writing meant her street doesn't feel safe. I had - and have - no answer to that, except to say if you stop going out you lose control of the streets and that's when you have to give yourself a shake and ask why you feel that way and how that can be changed. (Maybe tell the government you voted for to put more police on the streets).
'England isn't England any more.' (So what is it if it's not England?) 'Political correctness is destroying Britain.' We're into politics now. I am very interested in politics - I regard political correctness as good manners - but it's not a subject I would tackle on a Facebook page to do with what toys people had when they were children.
Today I came across this comment on the same page:
Two 'lads' (in their 70s) referred to me throughout one exchange as 'she' - despite the fact my name was right there in front of them. I reminded them people of our age were brought up to refer to folk by their names. Calling a woman 'she' is just rude. If we want good manners from young people, we'd do well to be good-mannered ourselves.
One woman told us 'Britain isn't a safe place to live any more.' Turned out she didn't mean Britain. She meant her street in Peckham. I don't know Peckham well but I pointed out old people are probably not the prime targets of knife-wielding gangs there (if they have any). Young men - especially young black men - are most likely to be targetted. I was then told me off for raising the issue of race. What, you mean race isn't an issue in crime in London?
There's indignation when people like me object to some of these comments. It seems there's a view that old people (anyone 70+) are to be allowed the freedom to say anything they like, no matter how rude it may be. And that includes comments about Moslems, Sikhs, anyone from the Indian sub continent or Africa - anyone with a brown face, in fact. Not forgetting the Irish, the Scots, anyone from Oop North, etc.
Surely if you realise there are 'trigger' comments - about smacking, or immigration, for example - you stop making these comments on a Facebook page that has nothing to do with either? But in this FB page, I seem to have strayed into a world where nothing is ever to be allowed to change. England is white. Grannies still look the way they did a century ago and are treated with the utmost respect by politicians and their communities:
Whereas the grannies I know look 45, are either still working (because their state pensions have been held back) or are child minding or are off up the pub with their mates. Or are arguing about politics.
Occasionally, I find myself thinking: No wonder young people loathe us. We've always had jobs, free education, cheap mortgages, holidays, cars, a decent health service. And still, we go around moaning about how awful life is.
There are a few ways to deal with Facebook pages like this, in my opinion:
- ignore them
- challenge comments where they are obviously untrue
- ask the admin of the group to remove posts that are obviously racist or misogynist
- leave the group
It looked like people were joining the group so they could write things like: 'My parents battered me when I was little, but it didn't do me any harm'. That'll be why we have our fair share of psychopaths and perverts in Britain then.
Or 'This isn't the country I grew up in'. Well, I can't say where you grew up but the Britain I grew up in wasn't that different from Britain today.
Some claim 'Britain isn't a safe place to live in.' And it gets nasty from now on: the bit of Britain I live in has seen a cut of 40% in violent crime in the past generation but it's obviously going to be different in other places. To my knowledge, Britain is not full of people wielding Kalashnikovs and shooting each other. It turned out the person writing meant her street doesn't feel safe. I had - and have - no answer to that, except to say if you stop going out you lose control of the streets and that's when you have to give yourself a shake and ask why you feel that way and how that can be changed. (Maybe tell the government you voted for to put more police on the streets).
'England isn't England any more.' (So what is it if it's not England?) 'Political correctness is destroying Britain.' We're into politics now. I am very interested in politics - I regard political correctness as good manners - but it's not a subject I would tackle on a Facebook page to do with what toys people had when they were children.
Today I came across this comment on the same page:
<<Remember having a toy sewing machine and a washing machine.>> So do I - so far so good.
Then came this comment: The 'do gooders' would probably call that grooming these days. Do gooders? Who are these do gooders and what have they got to do with grooming - or toy sewing machines?
This isn't a funny comment. It's what people where I come from would call a dig. And it's not appropriate. There are a lot of 'digs' on this site:
Then came this comment: The 'do gooders' would probably call that grooming these days. Do gooders? Who are these do gooders and what have they got to do with grooming - or toy sewing machines?
This isn't a funny comment. It's what people where I come from would call a dig. And it's not appropriate. There are a lot of 'digs' on this site:
One woman told us 'Britain isn't a safe place to live any more.' Turned out she didn't mean Britain. She meant her street in Peckham. I don't know Peckham well but I pointed out old people are probably not the prime targets of knife-wielding gangs there (if they have any). Young men - especially young black men - are most likely to be targetted. I was then told me off for raising the issue of race. What, you mean race isn't an issue in crime in London?
There's indignation when people like me object to some of these comments. It seems there's a view that old people (anyone 70+) are to be allowed the freedom to say anything they like, no matter how rude it may be. And that includes comments about Moslems, Sikhs, anyone from the Indian sub continent or Africa - anyone with a brown face, in fact. Not forgetting the Irish, the Scots, anyone from Oop North, etc.
Surely if you realise there are 'trigger' comments - about smacking, or immigration, for example - you stop making these comments on a Facebook page that has nothing to do with either? But in this FB page, I seem to have strayed into a world where nothing is ever to be allowed to change. England is white. Grannies still look the way they did a century ago and are treated with the utmost respect by politicians and their communities:
Whereas the grannies I know look 45, are either still working (because their state pensions have been held back) or are child minding or are off up the pub with their mates. Or are arguing about politics.
Occasionally, I find myself thinking: No wonder young people loathe us. We've always had jobs, free education, cheap mortgages, holidays, cars, a decent health service. And still, we go around moaning about how awful life is.
There are a few ways to deal with Facebook pages like this, in my opinion:
- ignore them
- challenge comments where they are obviously untrue
- ask the admin of the group to remove posts that are obviously racist or misogynist
- leave the group
I'm not in the mood for a fight with anyone so I've now left the 50s group - and a few others I might say - because of some of the comments.
But of course it's all the fault of useless politicians, so we don't have to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong. And a lot of us won't even bother turning up to vote.
But of course it's all the fault of useless politicians, so we don't have to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong. And a lot of us won't even bother turning up to vote.
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