The 7 times great grandmother of parliaments

I saw photos of Alok Sharma, the Tories' Business Secretary, coughing and spluttering in the House of Commons and wondered - not for the first time - what kind of fruitcakes are running this government. 

But I know the answer to that. I'm guessing the decision to bring the House of Commons together again in person in a chamber that isn't big enough to let all MPs sit down to begin with was left to Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg.

You know Jacob, often referred to as the Minister for the 18th Century.



Since Jacob doesn't have a title, I'm guessing he's just an ordinary punter like the rest of us and is entitled to a vote. As a voter, he should know that voters are entitled to contact their MPs, MSPs, MEPs and local councillors. We can do it in person or by text or email or letter. Our contact is remote. We're used to that. And we manage fine.

In some amazingly developed parts of the world (like Scotland and most of Europe), elected representatives can contact each other via that modern contraption the phone. They also have access to Facetime or Zoom. They can even have conference calls involving more than 2 people. They can conduct the business of their parliament remotely. Voting in some of these parliaments is done electronically and is over in minutes. We don't expect our elected representatives to queue up round the block, coughing as they go.

So why the need to bring the House of Commons together? It can't be something as simple as making sure Boris Johnson has his chorus of morons behind him when he faces Keir Starmer across the ballot box. So is it tradition? The only tradition I can imagine would be that MPs a couple of centuries ago sent in 'representatives' to vote for them while they went off to have dinner or a wee meeting with the mistress - and they got away with it unless they appeared in front of clerks who could identify them. Either way, I'm not bothered.

To be fair, I'm not even that bothered that Westminster refuses to modernise. I'd prefer a modernised constitution, one that recognises that a written constitution might be useful. But it seems that's not the 'British' (that is, English) way. So till Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland can get out of this shambles, we'll have to thole it. Just don't make it too long. Some of us are not getting any younger.

PS I hope Alok Sharma is okay.