After the fiasco...
Let's just imagine that Scotland takes its independence in 2021. That will leave Northern Ireland and Wales thinking: "Bloody hell, we're on our own here now with the loony Tories". And they too will start planning their departure into the big wide world.
But what happens next?
First, Englandshire (as I see Little England these days) will leave the EU once and for all. After all, folks, that's what a majority of the voters wanted. No, in fact that's not true: somewhere between 34% and 43% of the voters of England wanted to leave the EU but they still live in a world of First Past the Post voting so the result drags everyone out of the EU whether they voted for it or not. And they can't change their minds. They may have known very early on that the EU referendum was purely shite and purely advisory (as all referendums are) but English voters don't seem to have the stomach to argue with the likes of the unelected prime minister Dominic Cummings.
So Englandshire leaves the EU without a deal.
Boris Johnson, left either walking the corridors of 10 Downing Street with Baby Wilf (dear god, what is wrong with these people?) or worn out from trying to estimate how many children he has actually fathered, resigns, leaving a cabinet of total eejits with zero political experience and a small amount of common sense among them, wrestling with the conundrum of what to do next.
Going by their record in 2020, whatever the cabinet decide to do, it'll be wrong.
There's the small matter of the Coronavirus. It's still around and will be for a few years yet. The chance of there being a vaccine in 2021 is about as remote as the chances were of NHS staff getting their hands on PPE or ventilators in March 2020. Johnson is no longer there, nor is Dom - or most of the Public Health experts and the scientists, all sacked to cover up government incompetence. Any venture capitalist or hedge fund manager working for the Tory government has long since slung his hook. (They are always men, aren't they?)
But then Boris and Dom aren't big fans of the NHS or poor people or "low-skilled" people like nurses, so life will stagger on. The "low-skilled" are still out there doing their bit by the population. As are teachers. No idea what they're meant to be doing. Teaching all day while dodging the virus and trying to guess what young people will need to know for the crucial exams of 2021. Using their "free" time in and out of school to prepare "remote" learning lessons, as well as making up plans for lessons for the young people in front of them and preparing and marking their homework.
Millions of people have lost their jobs. Working from home is still frowned upon. It's called presenteeism - you have to turn up, do very little and get a wage, buy a pret a manger sandwich at lunchtime and pay your train fares from home and back) to boost the economy. Discussion of the robot revolution and job-sharing and Universal Basic Income continue to be ridiculed.
Meanwhile people are still singing Rule Britannia and celebrating the Empire and the Commonwealth, because nobody has told them to stop.
But what happens next?
First, Englandshire (as I see Little England these days) will leave the EU once and for all. After all, folks, that's what a majority of the voters wanted. No, in fact that's not true: somewhere between 34% and 43% of the voters of England wanted to leave the EU but they still live in a world of First Past the Post voting so the result drags everyone out of the EU whether they voted for it or not. And they can't change their minds. They may have known very early on that the EU referendum was purely shite and purely advisory (as all referendums are) but English voters don't seem to have the stomach to argue with the likes of the unelected prime minister Dominic Cummings.
So Englandshire leaves the EU without a deal.
Boris Johnson, left either walking the corridors of 10 Downing Street with Baby Wilf (dear god, what is wrong with these people?) or worn out from trying to estimate how many children he has actually fathered, resigns, leaving a cabinet of total eejits with zero political experience and a small amount of common sense among them, wrestling with the conundrum of what to do next.
Going by their record in 2020, whatever the cabinet decide to do, it'll be wrong.
There's the small matter of the Coronavirus. It's still around and will be for a few years yet. The chance of there being a vaccine in 2021 is about as remote as the chances were of NHS staff getting their hands on PPE or ventilators in March 2020. Johnson is no longer there, nor is Dom - or most of the Public Health experts and the scientists, all sacked to cover up government incompetence. Any venture capitalist or hedge fund manager working for the Tory government has long since slung his hook. (They are always men, aren't they?)
But then Boris and Dom aren't big fans of the NHS or poor people or "low-skilled" people like nurses, so life will stagger on. The "low-skilled" are still out there doing their bit by the population. As are teachers. No idea what they're meant to be doing. Teaching all day while dodging the virus and trying to guess what young people will need to know for the crucial exams of 2021. Using their "free" time in and out of school to prepare "remote" learning lessons, as well as making up plans for lessons for the young people in front of them and preparing and marking their homework.
Millions of people have lost their jobs. Working from home is still frowned upon. It's called presenteeism - you have to turn up, do very little and get a wage, buy a pret a manger sandwich at lunchtime and pay your train fares from home and back) to boost the economy. Discussion of the robot revolution and job-sharing and Universal Basic Income continue to be ridiculed.
Meanwhile people are still singing Rule Britannia and celebrating the Empire and the Commonwealth, because nobody has told them to stop.
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